BOYFRIEND GUIDE(:
1.When she walks away from yu mad[Follow her]
2.When she stare’s at yur lips[Kiss her ]
3.When she pushes yu or hits yu[Grab her & dnt let go]

Wife: If i become fat and ugly will you leave me?
Husband starts laughing.
Wife: WHAT?!
Husband: Im still here arent i?

Age 6:
lil sis: *crying
big bro: ” aww whats wrong?”
little sister: ” I got a owwy”
Age: 15
lilsis: *crying
big bro:alright who was it?!
lil sis: cries. (name)
big bro* loads shotgun ” Be right back..”

Every girl has three guys in her life.
The one she loves.
The one she hates.
and the one she can’t live without.
And in the end,
They’re all the same guy.

Girl: what would you do if i broke up with you?
boy: then i’d go back to my ex.
(girl cried and broke up with him)
–next day–
girl: what are you doing here??
boy: like what i said, i’d go back to my ex. so, will you take me back ?

If you have a choice between ugly or fat, You can turn lights out on ugly, but you can always feel the fat in the dark.

When a man says ‘I love you so much it hurts” what he #reallymeans is ”I’ve been masturbating over you so much recently it’s gone red”

Stewie’s Quotes

My friend was murdered at a Jehovah’s church. Thank fuck there were witnesses.

I heard Lady Gaga was using the meat dress to hide his cock?

When life gives you meat, make a meat dress and don’t beef with life. Life is always right.

Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries